Relationships are often very crazy in that you love someone to the extent which you yourself don’t understand,most people think leaving someone is easy but it’s not,falling in love is very easy unlike getting out of a relationship;when you fall for someone all you see is the good side,the beauty,handsomeness,the height ,the colour,the physique name it all.
I can remember sharing with a friend sometime back and I was surprised to know that women go through alot especially when they get married,imagine everyone wants a dating relationship to get into marriage but once you get into marriage things start going south,I feel like something was hidden because nowadays alot is happening in this so called marriage relationships,imagine getting attracted to someone while dating only to find out more crazy and dark things in marriage,it’s really akward what people have to endure in the name of “staying married”.
I felt so bad when I thought things were not working in my marriage only to realize that there are people who are even going through alot in it than me,I have gone through tough times,mountains and valleys and my story isn’t as shocking as the one someone told me some few weeks ago,let’s call her Irene (not her real name though),we met with Irene online,I am a house hunter and I do love my job ,so I got a text on messenger that she’s looking for a house,as it’s my job I responded quickly and we met the next day.Irene looked abit sad but as usual I do interact with all my clients differently,so as we walk telling her the location of the house she wants to go and see,she opens up to me about her husband’s side chick.
I am even amazed that she knows where the side chick lives,and she even tells me that she has tried her best talking to her to leave the husband( a teacher) alonebut she’s refused,so what’s even interesting is that she calls her husband as we move to another location,and the husband picks her call and he even confirms that that’s where his side chick lives. I am even more shocked because the husband says that there’s no network at that place ;”wueeeh”, I felt like it was total madness. As we continue walking ,Irene tells me that her husband told her that the reason for doing all this is because she’s always nagging,she makes their home lack peace blah blah blah,I really felt touched and sorry for this woman.
Irene told me that their relationship even went to an extra mile whereby her husband impregnated the side chick and they got a baby together,you can imagine a father of three kids still giving out shots outside for another baby outside,quite unfortunate the baby died in a weeks time while still in hospital,Irene tells me that she really prayed for a miracle because the side chick really made her suffer with the kids. I guess irenes prayer was a miracle or a blessing in disguise; because she was telling me of how her”God” answered her prayer and tears.I can tell you for free this story is true and I thought I was even going through hell in my marriage but to say the truth alot is happening out here that’s even more fascinating than my story.
You might think they broke up because of what the man was doing but loh!,they are still together,to some other ladies they may tell you how they have dealt with the side chicks properly either by threatening them,beat them or even finishing their lives but Irene’s case is one of a kind. I don’t know where she gets the courage and strength to continue living with this man,she was telling me that it’s not easy because she knows the truth and she has to live with it everyday. They have even been prayed for but all is to no avail,it’s only God who can intervene in such cases,so she told me even the house she’s looking for it’s her husband who will pay for it.
In short she was trying to tell me that as a woman it’s good to have your own finances so that incase the man tries to frustrated you,you just don’t think twice but leave and go figure out on your own,I can attest to what she said because I have witnessed alot of us ‘women’lacking our own finances hence being forced to stay with our partners even when they don’t give us a peace of mind. Its very bad,the kind of things men do and we’re still living with them as if nothing happened,is even traumatising.
When I began telling my story ,I said it’s not easy to gat out of a relationship as getting in especially marriage ,because you get to endure alot if things from it and sometimes due to various circumstances you end up suffering because people think it’s good to persevere and yet your suffering.Most of the people even those who are close to us like family and friends may tell you to get out only for them to get the chance of mistreating you and abuse you for leaving your marriage,others may tell you to stay in it , especially our parents they’ll encourage you to persevere because they were in the same situation as you but they just had to stay there.
To sum up, I will advocate for women to be financial upright, in that you have a plan on how you get your own money so that incase things don’t work out for you especially in marriage, you just have a place to start, no need to be frustrated by family or friends only for you to end up depressed or even dead due to endurance, it’s better to stand for yourself and know that nothing is impossible, you can still make it happen even when it seems so hard.
